Could the fear of aging bring with it the fear of losing desire? Or could the changing of our bodies make us less desirable to others?
Perhaps some people think that age eliminates older adults from the sexual market, and think that this doesn't even matter to them, because they are too engrossed in old-age tasks, such as playing chess and feeding pigeons in the squares.
But if our sexuality remains intact after age 65, will society judge us for wanting to have sex?
The flame and the incentive are still in perfect condition, as this compilation of Instagram "grandmothers" clearly demonstrates, where there is almost no difference between them and young influencers.
We tend to think we live in an essentially superficial society of disposable passions. This is partly true, and that's probably why sex in later life is a topic discussed in hushed tones.
In fact, it's probably more of a personal issue than an external one, a taboo of our own, which leads us to intuitively think that older people don't have sexual relations.
It's very common to watch an erotic scene between older adults and feel a little uncomfortable . As if we're seeing something we shouldn't be seeing. Like catching our parents or grandparents red-handed .
Fortunately for many, it's just a matter of doing a little research to discover that adults also enjoy their intimacy, and that they're not that far from feeling the same passion as a teenager, or even more so.
Older people don't just have sex "for love," but also for entertainment, out of desire, out of necessity. And they care very little about what younger people think and say about what should (or shouldn't) happen between their sheets.
Older adults DO have sex
In a fun interview about love and sex in old age conducted by El País in 2018, we heard from several seniors who share what their sex lives are like after widowhood or eternal singlehood . Many of them captivate with their smiles and sincerity, while others break our hearts with heartbreaking confessions.
Source: El País
Florencio, 84, tells a heartbreaking story of how, desperate for contact, after 6 months of losing his wife, he decided to place a sign in the greengrocer's offering his unconditional company .
No one came to her call. The possibility of ever being intimate with someone again seems impossible, but the desire still remains.
On the other hand, Carmen and Bartolo, aged 81 and 84, say that, after eight years of relationship, they still continue having sex at least once a week and that the first time they had sex together, after eight years of widowhood, they felt an electricity throughout their bodies that they could not explain .
He had fallen into a deep depression after the death of his first wife and tried to take his own life, then Carmen appeared and changed his life, "waking him up" in every sense of the word.
As her name suggests, 80-year-old Candela is passionate about sex . But not just any man; she looks for one who's "really hot and handsome," 30, 40, or at most 50 years old, and who's capable of satisfying her 100%.
Do you know what they call "The Digital Divide" in the elderly? Together with Acoger Comunidad Gerontológica, Theramart held an interesting seminar on the subject. Click to find out more.
Learning to enjoy without stereotypes
Maturity could be one of the best stages of life for having sex, not an impediment. Body awareness is greater, and calmness and patience have developed to the point where enjoyment is the primary goal, rather than rushing results.
We must eliminate phallocentrism from our minds to fully enjoy sex . And not just in old age, but always. A successful sexual relationship shouldn't be exclusively a penetrative coital relationship, as there are many ways to enjoy it, and it's a matter of finding the most appropriate one for each moment in life and our physical and emotional needs.
Sexual care and health
According to Dr. Martín Ciancas, consulted by HealthCare , when having sexual relations, two types of alterations must be taken into account : physiological and pathological.
The former are normal changes that occur during aging, and it's very important to know their effects and understand the changes so we can continue enjoying ourselves without harming ourselves or injuring ourselves.
On the other hand, pathological alterations can be diseases that can occur at any time in life , but which tend to be more frequent as we get older and which also require attention during sexual intercourse.
Beyond that, there are no major barriers or impediments to having sex after age 60. You can even find an excellent explanation here about why sex is good for seniors' health.
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Sex connects us at any age
According to Honduran sexologist, couples therapist, and psychologist Manuel Orellana, the taboo surrounding sex during old age must be eliminated.
In an interview with La Prensa , she explained why sexuality is so important among older adults and spoke about the psychological damage that prejudice and social pressure can cause.
According to the professional, older people who think about sex are often judged as having deviant behavior or entering into an unhealthy psychological process . And that shouldn't be the case.
Why shouldn't older people have sex? It's an absurd taboo and utterly illogical.
Orellana affirms that emotional bonds among older adults must be encouraged; sex connects, brings happiness, and improves quality of life.
